Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Let's all go into a fetal position: big bad Ahmadinajad has spoken!

I am cowering under a table as I write this. Any moment now, something horrible and cataclysmic will occur.

I mean, how can we, as Americans, not be scared, knowing that right now, today, the Evil and Scary Ahmadinajad is walking around Manhattan, which I believe is in New York City, which is... in America! Here, in this country! Even worse, some commie A-rab-loving liberal college let him give a speech and answer questions(!!!).

I fear that anyone in that audience is going to go right out and join up with the jihad. I mean, just hearing this guy spew his hateful Arabic propaganda is enough to turn even New York Jews into Jew-hating holocaust-denying suicide bombers. Watch the fuck out!

But that's not all. Any minute now, Iranian nuclear bombs may start falling from the sky. After all, allowing this guy to visit our country and giving him a forum to spew his crazy! loony! vile! despicable! jihad talk will only embolden the Evil Iranians in their psychotic determination to develop nuclear weapons of mass destruction.

Some people might tell you not to panic, and point out that Nikita Khrushchev, who had vowed to bury the U.S., and who was the leader of a country had actual nuclear weapons, loaded onto actual ICBMs, which were actually aimed at every major U.S. city, spent 11 days touring the United States, meeting with Eisenhower and various other national leaders from all segments of society. But these people, who would tell you this, are trying to lull you to sleep, so that the jihadists and their Nuclear! Weapons! can kill you while you sleep, unaware of the Dangerous! Horrible! threat!

And besides, that happened back when our country was strong and courageous. Not now, today, when The Paradigm Has Shifted, and we are defenseless and scared.

Oh sure, some people will try to calm you down by saying that Iran barely even has any fissile material, much less the scientific know-how to put a bomb together, much less the highly advanced missile technology to actually deliver such a bomb across a few continents to America. Don't be fooled! Nuclear bombs are scary! Mushroom Clouds!!! Your children, dead!!!!1

1 comment:

lyn said...

you know snake, if someone actually did decide to nuke (us or them), we would never know, 5 seconds of white light baby, because we live in the metroplex....don't sweat it, are you or I even going to be able to get on that playing field to do something about it, no...we'll just bitch, just like everyone else does......