Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Clinton Portis is funny, stupid

Michael Vick, professional football quarterback, is being hung out to dry because he apparently had a dog-fighting operation going on at a house he owned in Virginia. At this point, it is unclear whether Vick knew about this, or supported it, or whatever.

Vick's situation is interesting because he has lately been accused of some other stuff, which has earned him the ire of that all-powerful organization we know as the N-F-fucking-L. One of the things he was accused of is marijuana possession. Nevermind that no marijuana was ever found. After all, Michael Vick is a brown person with a lot of money, and, therefore, a target. And marijuana, as we all know, is a highly dangerous substance, that will kill you and all of those around you, sooner or later. Especially if you happen to be a brown person.

But anyway. When asked about the dog-fighting situation, Clinton Portis, a running back for the Washington Redskins, another brown person who is known for his enigmatic costumes during pre-game interviews, evinced a great deal of apathy.

Among his various quotes, Portis stated:

"It's his property," Portis told WAVY TV 10 in Virginia. "It's his dog. If that's what he wants to do, do it."

When reminded that dog fighting is a felony in Virginia, Portis was not deterred.

"It can't be too bad of a crime," Portis said. "There's lots of stuff that's (a crime). There's killers on the loose...You want to hunt down Michael Vick over fighting some dogs, you know, I think people should mind their business."

To which I, an avowed libertarian, say: yeah! I mean, OooooK. Umm, I guess what I mean to say is that dog-fighting, as an organized way of entertaining humans, is despicable and should be condemned.

And Clinton Portis is obviously not real savvy. Surely he should have known that this kind of oral diarrhea would provoke a severely negative firestorm. Especially from the newly holier-than-thou N-F-fucking-L. But he sure as hell hits upon a good point when he states, and I'm paraphrasing, that all kinds of stuff is illegal, but not necessarily wrong. Like smoking marijuana, for example. If you make THAT illegal, then you are seriously asking for people like this to have the attitude of "illegal? WTF? Everygoddamnthing under the sun is fucking illegal in one jurisdiction or another. Do you seriously expect me to keep track of all the things that you non-brown people consider to be "illegal" at any given time? Keep your stupid fucking laws to yourselves, assholes."

No comments: