Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Monica Goodling: loyal bushie

Update: As pointed out by a diligent reader, Messiah College is, in point of fact, accredited. Further research on the part of HipHopLawyer has established that this school has maintained its accreditation since 1963. I'm sure that, knowing this, National Merit Scholars across the country are lining up to fax in their admissions materials. /update.

And while our intrepid law enforcement establishment tracks down the dangerous brown felon Michael Vick for dogfighting and marijuana possession, far more sophisticated criminals continue to roam our streets and loot government coffers.

Case in point: Monica Goodling. This little strumpet, a tool of the Bush lootocracy, is set to testify before the House Judiciary Committee today. She comes before the committee armed with an impressive resume. After all, without impressive academic and professional credentials, how could she have ever been appointed to a very senior position in the Justice Department?

As you might imagine, she is a virginic white girl, pure as the driven snow, a pseudo-Cum-Laude graduate of Messiah College, with a law degree from Regent University. As I'm sure you all are aware, both of these institutions score quite highly in U.S. News and World Report's annual list of exemplary educational institutions. Or, wait. Actually, they don't score highly on that list. In fact they are barely, if not at all, accredited. They do, however, score very highly on the annual God-but-no-actual-learning list of educational institutions.

Our dear little Monica, graduate of a law school with the motto "We're not just creating more lawyers; we're creating a different kind of lawyer", set out to create a different kind of Justice Department. That is, a D0J full of bible beaters with no legal understanding, no integrity, and no higher purpose whatsoever other than furthering the GWBush cause of looting our quaint little republic for their own personal gain.

Our friends at Regent University School of Law have indeed created a different kind of lawyer. Normally, lawyers are expected to have ethics. And legal knowledge. And a fucking spine. Yes, a spine. That's the thick, vertical concentration of bones that allow you to stand upright when confronted with a WH directive that dictates that you defer to one small man's interpretation of "God's will" at the expense of 200+ years of the rule of law.

Unfortunately, congress has granted Monica immunity from prosecution to secure her testimony. Testimony, I predict, which will be filled with empty platitudes ("I just wanted to serve my country"), pathetic crying, and no useful information whatsoever. If I were the monarch of this country instead of GWBush, I would have this pitiful, intellectually dishonest snake hung from the highest tree with the following slogan branded into her ass with a hot poker: "I serve at the pleasure of the president".


Christy said...

Messiah College is ranked #4 for comprehensive bachelor's colleges in the North by U.S. News & World Report. It has been accredited by the Middle States Association of Colleges and Secondary Schools since 1963. So "barely, if not at all, accredited" is not at all accurate in the case of Messiah. Please get your facts straight. Thanks.

Gleemonex said...

Miss Goodling is one of the only type of Bushies left -- the True Believers. And they are the scariest type ...