Thursday, August 16, 2007

Global Warming and the spider's web

So, we get 3 straight days of 100+ and... that's it??? Like, for the entire year?

Let's not even consider the fact that this forecast appears to remove several precious pool-days from the remainder of the summer. It is just really disturbing that we can't have more than 3 100 degree days in a whole year. I might as well move to freakin' Vancouver.

I guess this proves, conclusively, that Global Warming is a complete fraud perpetrated by dirty fucking hippies.

What? You say you can't judge climatic changes on the basis of one year's weather? Well, uh, tell that to the folks that go around saying that Hurricane Katrina proves that Global Warming is true. Or that, every time it is unseasonably hot, somewhere, on the globe, that conclusively proves that evil humans are destroying the perfectly balanced climate and ecosystem we've been provided with.

People: the globe is a big fucking place. The planet is billions of years old. "Time" is immutable. And the fucking "climate", for pete's sake, is not what your local weatherman spews out at you every night. No, the guy with the fancy sounding gadgets, gee-whiz graphics, and perfect dentition is not a climatologist. He's not necessarily even a meteorologist. He is a weatherman. He tells you what today's weather was like. He might even tell you what tomorrow's weather will be like within some reasonably accurate margin of error.

What he won't tell you, what he cannot tell you, is whether today's weather is conclusive proof of some kind of climatic schism caused by our collective irresponsibility vis a vis the use of carbon based compounds.

Let me repeat: THE EARTH IS BILLIONS OF YEARS OLD. During that time, it has been VERY FUCKING HOT and VERY FUCKING COLD at different times. And the fact that today was a few degrees hotter or a few degrees cooler than the same day last year, or the average day during the last hundred years, means ABSOLUTELY NOTHING when considered in conjunction with what we, humans, know about the earth's climatic history. And neither does the fact that WOW! there were quite a few hurricanes this year!!! Some years there are a lot of hurricanes, some years there are few. Most years there are hurricanes numbering in the range of approximately the average number. You do not have to be a fucking genius to understand this.

I can hear you, reader. You are now saying something along the lines of "well, now that you've shown beyond any doubt that today's weather, this week's weather, this year's weather, this decade's weather, this century's weather is not really indicative at all of any kind of global climate change, please now explain to me how the spider's web figures into all of this."

Oh yeah. Well, I went outside a while ago to view the decidedly strange August rainfall here, and I happened to look up, and I saw a spider, suspended in what looked like -- due to poor lighting -- mid-air, about 10 feet above me. I assume it was attached to a web. But, challenging that assumption was the fact that the nearest object to which the web could have been attached was a chimney at least 3 feet from the spider along the horizontal axis. Not really all that unusual. But and then so the other nearest thing that the web could have been attached to was a tree limb, which was at the very least 10 feet from the spider, in the opposite direction from the chimney along the horizontal axis, and at least 10 feet above it on the vertical axis.

Now, how is it even conceivable that a spider could construct a web with those characteristics? I have not the slightest idea. And how does this relate to the above information regarding the global, historical climate? It doesn't.

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