Saturday, January 24, 2009

Hip Hop Lawyer's recipe for a completely awful Saturday

It goes like this:

On Friday, eat a mid-morning meal consisting of 4 cupcakes.

Eat nothing else the rest of the day.

Friday evening, around 6PM, begin drinking beer (consume at least 7 beers in this step, which should last approximately 1.5 hours).

Next, proceed to a bar or tavern. Drink at least 9 beers over the next 2 hours.

Mix in two shots of tequila and one Jaeger Bomb.

Proceed home and drink 2 more beers.

Get online, order pizza, and then pass out immediately after ordering.

That's it. This method has, thus far, proven to be 100% effective in ensuring a totally utterly miserable Saturday morning, afternoon, and early evening (though if you are under the age of 30 you may need to add a couple more tequila shots to ensure the proper level of suffering).

5 comments:

Gleemonex said...

Jesus H. Shatner, do I feel ya.

You know, I have had better ideas than opening a fourth (fifth?) bottle of champagne for myself and one friend at 2:30 a.m. on New Year's Eve. Debatable whether that was a better or worse idea than the tequila shots being downed all around us, though.

Moms said...

It was better than the tequila shots, but only slighty. Ha! And yeah, was it 4 or 5. Ahhhh...fuzzy memories:)

Anonymous said...

It was all part of my long term plan for free pizza. the pursuit of free pizza is chess it ain't checkers.

Enormo said...

this is an old recipe and has been used by many a wise county alumni.

Michael in LH said...

I used this recipe for a completely awful weekend - not just saturday. Sucks getting old.