Friday, January 16, 2009

Police Creepiness

My local police department has been busy.

This door hanger was found -- not hanging on my door -- but on the floor of my laundry room. There's a door in that room that leads to the garage. As you can see from the notes on the flier, my garage door was left open during the night.

The flier couldn't have been slipped underneath the door -- I checked. Which means that this extremely officious officer walked up into my driveway, entered my garage, walked the length of the garage, opened the door to my house, and placed this document on my laundry room floor. All of which happened as I was sleeping down the hallway.

While I realize that I am less inclined than most people to give the benefit of the doubt to law enforcement, and that I do not in general have a very high opinion of the police, surely I am not off base in thinking that this is an unacceptable -- not to mention unwarranted -- invasion into my private space. Right? I mean, FUCK.

Not to mention that it is dangerous. Because look, there's no telling what might have happened if, as is my usual habit at that time of the morning, I had been standing at my kitchen counter, tumbler of iced vodka in hand, cleaning and loading one of my many firearms, when I heard over my shoulder the sound of the door to my garage opening.

Ok, so that's meant to be humorous... but still. Am I wrong here? Seriously: (1) I don't particularly like the idea that the police are paying close enough attention to my house to even notice that my garage door is open, and (2) this neighborhood is such that you could probably leave your garage door open every single night for five years and never have one single incident of crime. But anyway, I wouldn't have any issue with the guy hanging this flier on my front door. And it would be bad enough if he had just come into the garage and hung it on the other door. But to open the door?

Unlike during many previous times in my life, I am doing nothing illegal, I have no warrants for my arrest, I am not in possession of any contraband, my taxes are fully paid up, and -- in short -- I have nothing to hide or fear from the authorities. And yet... this appears to me to be totally outrageous and creepy.


bgirl said...

maybe he wasn't aware of what purpose that little holey thing at the top serves?

laundry fetish?

wanted you to know just HOW CLOSE to danger you COULD HAVE been?

Gleemonex said...

Oh my GOD. Are you fucking KIDDING ME? This is truly astonishing. I would be down there at that station IN PERSON with a lawyer or a large dog within minutes of figuring out how that thing had gotten in my house. The FUCK you come onto my property like that, I don't care what you're doing. Holy shit.

HHL said...

well... the last thing I want to do in this little burg is call attention to myself. I thought about complaining, but it would only engender resentment towards me, and for now at least, I enjoy a certain amount of anonymity in this place. calling on my prior experience of being well known to the police in a small town, I don't believe that is a good idea. even if I'm *right*, which in this case obviously i am.

Anonymous said...

What is the problem, they have to come up with some way to spend that quarter of a percent tax increase.

At the very least, perhaps you should begin closing your garage door to prevent random police officers from stopping by.

In other news, my name is Buck and I like to FAHQ with your privacy.