atomic wing fail

I got lunch from Wingstop today. Mixed in with my order of the "Original Hot" flavor, I got some that were the "Atomic" flavor. These are awful. I can't imagine why anyone would eat them except under some type of extreme coercion.

I like hot spicy foods. I enjoy eating jalapenos, and I put Tabasco sauce on everything it remotely goes with. So I'm not a pussy about this stuff.

But after three bites of these Atomic wings, my face and head and most of my upper body were covered in sweat. My mouth was completely numb, my nose was running freely, and my throat was sort of locked up in a weird way I can't really describe. This is my body telling me that it has just been poisoned and that I should immediately stop ingesting this substance.

Relatedly, I watched a few episodes recently of a show called "Man Vs. Food". This is a show with a guy that travels around the country, eating at a bunch of local restaurants (usually hole-in-the-wall type places, but sometimes semi-famous places like the Salt Lick in Austin). He will go in the kitchen and have the owner or the cooks show how they make their specialties, then he will stuff them (the specialties) in his mouth and say how good they are. But then for the last part of the episode he will always do an "eating challenge" type of thing, which would be where a restaraunt has a standing challenge for people to eat some huge portion of food (like a hamburger that's a foot in diameter, or 15 dozen raw oysters). But sometimes the challenge he does is eating something really hot. Like this one place in NYC he ate what was supposedly the hottest curry in the world (the cook wore a gas mask while he made it). The dude was sweating so hard while was eating it, and then he accidently mopped the sweat off of his face with the napkin he had been wiping his mouth with, and the guy like practically had a seizure and these big welts popped up all over his face. He finished the curry though. At the end it looked like he was suffering from radiation sickness.

Not sure what the point of this was supposed to be... but I've had this tab open on my browser for what seems like several weeks now. It is a site that sells hot sauce. This page has a scale that shows how hot they are on something called the Scoville Heat Index. The hottest variety of Jalapeno is rated at 5000. But this site sells a sauce that is rated at 16,000,000. Presumably this is intended for use in military applications rather than in any kind of food preparation.