Monday, January 21, 2008


Josh Marshall says he actually (albeit briefly) felt sorry for Rudy "Benito" Giuliani as he (Josh) contemplated Rudy's spectacular decline over the last few months. (Thus far, Rudy has been outpolled by Ron Paul in 5 out of the 6 GOP nominating contests.)

Feel sorry for Rudy? Me, not so much. The only scenario under which I might remotely feel the slightest, most fleeting sense of sympathy for Rudy would be if he were subjected to something along the lines of The Death of Chef:
However, the bridge Chef is crossing then collapses after being struck by lightning. Chef catches on fire. Being hit by multiple rocks and so unable to hang onto the bridge, Chef falls down, bouncing off several rocks before being impaled on a jagged tree stump. He is then attacked by a mountain lion and later a grizzly bear. One man from the Super Adventure Club, aiming for the mountain lion, shoots Chef three times before the animals dismember him. The skin on his face is ripped off and he gets ripped in half at the waist, leaving his organs hanging out. Stan and Kyle then say their catchphrase: "Oh my God! They killed Chef!" "You bastards!". Cartman suggests that Chef may not be dead because "They say the last thing you do before you die is crap your--" At that instant, Chef's body empties his bowels...

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