Tuesday, August 5, 2008

drink up, Johnny

One thing you will always find in my freezer is a bottle of Stolichnaya. Currently there are three, but that's not usual. Usually there's only one. But if I ever notice I'm getting low, I'll get another bottle so as to not be without any. Thus, sometimes there are two. But usually one, only.

Why are there three? The third bottle was a gift. It is 100 proof, rather than the usual 80. It is not quite to my taste, but I won't pour it out.

When I drink vodka -- usually every couple of weeks or so -- I drink it in a glass (or, sometimes, a Solo cup) with ice. That is all. After the first drink (which is rarely 100% pleasant), I enjoy the taste. I also enjoy the near-immediate feeling of well-being that comes after only three or four sips.

This odd blog conducted a test to find out "which is the best vodka?" A very subjective question, to be sure; I prefer Stoli, so that would be my answer. But these nice folks (I won't criticize them, being fellow vodka-enjoyers) state that Stoli is a "sentimental favorite", with a "classic bottle", but that its continuing popularity could be attributed to "snob appeal". I don't know what that means.

One thing that I have noticed: when a bottle of Stoli is put into a freezer and kept there for some time, it develops a curious (and annoying) characteristic: if you touch the metal cap and/or the metal around the neck, your fingers will smell. They will have a metallic/chemical smell. I have observed that this phenomenon occurs every time, with every different bottle, in at least three different freezers with three different freezers-full of (other) contents. I can't explain this phenomenon, and 'the google' does not appear to contain an answer.

Knowing this, I just recently (yes, as recently as within this last half hour) developed a strategy for dealing with the bottleneck-metal-chemical-smell presentment: I get a paper towel, fold it half over and then into thirds, and use it to grip the bottle cap, making sure that my non-toweled hand does not touch the metal on the neck of the bottle. After the vodka is poured, the towel is discarded. I call this the Howard Hughes Strategy.

-Editor's Note: vodka was consumed by the author before and during this blog post.


Gleemonex said...


Dude, SERIOUSLY!!! Get out of my heaaaad! I, too: 1)always have a bottle of Stoli in my freezer, 2)buy another when I get low, just to make sure I don't run out, 3)disagree with the notion that Stoli has "snob appeal," particularly since these days The Kids only want expensive pretender shit like Grey Goose and Hangar One and all that jazz so now Stoli is almost a well brand (as opposed to call or premium, which is fine by me because fuck you, kids, it's Damn Fine Vodka and how could a million Red Russkies be wrong?, and 4)have always noticed the Stoli cap smell phenomenon but never knew it wasn't just me! I will henceforth use your Howard Hughes Method -- most likely, beginning tonight when I have my first blessed sip of gimlet after the baby's down for the night.


Gorilla said...

Stoli in the freezer? I remember the days of Popov rolling around in the trunk...