I almost want him to win

John McCain doesn't know how many houses he owns. According to some media reports, the number is as high as twelve. Most outlets put it in the range of 8-10. Obama's latest ad goes with a conservative number: 7.

The real number is zero. John McCain owns no houses at all. They are all owned by his trophy wife. A lady who inherited $100,000,00.00 from her father, who made his money selling liquor and beer. An honest living, to be sure, but McCain didn't earn a dime of that, and he owns none of the proceeds.

But of course the guy also has never had to work a day in his life. He hasn't the slightest clue how much things cost or how much people make. He offered disgruntled union workers $50/hour to pick lettuce. They yelled at him and tried to take him up on the offer. He walked off the stage, then. Maybe he should stick to offering bottled hot water to dehydrated babies. At least they can't heckle him.

Some people I know claim that John McCain is a regular guy; one of us. A hard working man's man who will protect us against Big Government taking away our paychecks. Only, he hasn't the slightest clue what an actual paycheck looks like. Except the ones that come from the government.

The only thing that John McCain knows is that there are Evil people out there. He wants to send the Marines out to kill them. In Iraq, Afghanistan, Iran, Russia, China, wherever. He knows that if there's one thing the United States is good at, it is making bombs, and delivering them. He believes we should stick within our core competencies: killing motherfuckers and destroying the dirty hovels in which they live.

Some people I know think the same way. Cut taxes, increase spending, make more bombs, and kill the fuck out of whoever stands between us and cheap consumer goods, cheap oil, and cheap credit. Because we'll never have to pay that shit back as long as we can kill the motherfuckers who loaned it to us. It's a reasonable way of doing business, a reasonable way of living... to someone who's never had to pay a single bill in his entire life.

I love a good trainwreck. That's why I almost want to see this guy elected. The reason why I don't is that I love my country -- as hokey as that may sound -- and this guy is primed, ready, champing at the bit to destroy it in the most massive global trainwreck humankind has ever seen. I'm not exactly a huge Obama fan these days, but you just wait til this dumb clueless angry old asshat sits his pasty rump down in the driver's seat.