Thursday, June 7, 2007

Accountability? No, thank you.

The guy pictured is named Billy Donovan, coach of the 2-time defending National Champion Florida Gators NCAA basketball playing team. He deserves our support, and pity. Lots and lots of pity.

He has been sorely mistreated. The Orlando Magic, a big bunch of meanies, tricked and railroaded him into signing a $27.5 million contract to coach their NBA basketball team. The poor sap had only 9 weeks following his NCAA championship during which to decide if, where, and when he would next coach basketball. After speaking (against his will, we can assume) with several professional NBA basketball teams and at least one other college program, he was wickedly coerced into signing a contract with the Magic, and then forced (at gunpoint, presumably) to hold a press conference announcing same, during which he (under merciless pressure, no doubt) beamingly told the assembled masses and assorted members of the media, that he was proud and elated to be hired for his dream job.

The following day Donovan, back in Gainesville and out of the reaches of the evil Magic henchmen, sought to repudiate said contract before the ink was even dry. Upon hearing this, various jock-sniffing media members rushed to express support for Donovan in his time of despair. Donovan then lawyered up, and entered into protracted negotiations with his Magic oppressors to void said contract.

This morning, Donovan held a press conference announcing his successful extrication from the nefarious clutches of the Magic. Though I did not watch this, and a transcript is not yet available, I can predict with 99% certainty that the reasons presented by Donovan for his scurrilous about-face will include the following: "the comfort and well-being of my family" "in my heart, I know my true calling is to shape the character of the young student-athlete basketball playing men" and "my undying loyalty, allegiance, and love for the great University of Florida". We will be led to believe that, during the 9 weeks Donovan took to reach his decision to join the Magic (at a salary of $5.5 million/year), he was completely unaware that: (a) his true calling is in the young-men-character-development line, (b) loyalty and devotion to good ol' UofF is/was VERY important to him, and (c) he does, in fact, have a family.

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