Thursday, February 22, 2007

Fed Judiciary gets medieval on our ass

Yes, you read the tombstone correctly. Blackstone, the most famous of all legal scholars, puts the birth of the writ of habeas corpus at 1305 AD. According to some, it has its roots in the Magna Carta, signed in 1215.

Either way, earlier this week our esteemed federal judiciary, at the behest of our president, buried the "Great Writ", in direct contradiction to Article One, Section 9 of the United States Constitution, which states: "The privilege of the writ of habeas corpus shall not be suspended, unless when in cases of rebellion or invasion the public safety may require it."

As we know, there does not exist a state of rebellion or invasion in this country. But neither our esteemed federal judiciary, nor our great and revered president, argued that such a state existed. Rather, their reasoning hinged on the fact that "Cuba -- not the United States -- has sovereignty over Guantanamo Bay." Which means that:

1. Lawyers for those imprisoned in Guantanamo Bay are, right this moment, rushing to file writs of habeas corpus with Castro's judiciary.

2. Once granted by Castro, these writs will be presented to the Guantanamo Bay prison guards, who will then immediately release the applicable prisoners.

3. Then, Castro will ride his old beater of a motorcycle into Gitmo and respectfully ask all the marines there to please vacate the place, which they will do, immediately, since, after all, Castro and his government have sovereignty there.

4. Then, at this point, pigs will fly out of my ass, journey to the moon, and found a new civilization based on free slop for all newly liberated flying livestock.


Kingfish said...

I don't understand why you are so negative. This doesn't effect you. Just go about your business of lawyering. Obey your masters, and all will be fruitful for you. Why should you care for rights when you do not really need them.

Good post.

Gleemonex said...